I don’t own a Facebook.
But I will after this post.
I like to think of myself as an independent person. I strive to do as many things on my own as I possibly can. I hate depending on others because I’ve always thought that it exposes you to unnecessary risk (if other people don’t come through like they’re supposed to, then your plan is screwed). I also feel morally obligated to return any favors in full. Because I didn’t like the idea of squaring up with people all day, everyday, I felt even more driven to work on my own. As a result, I never socialized much with people that I thought I would never see again. In my mind, I always thought that networking meant going to a bunch of social functions, starting up as much small talk with as many people as you can, and exchanging contact information only to never speak to them again until you decide that you need their help in landing yourself a job. They might end up on your list of people to mass send Christmas cards to, but contact never really extends beyond that.
That was probably the most ridiculously short-sighted inaccurate outlook that I have ever had.
Only recently have I begun to realize the importance of networking. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s hard to get by without knowing people. That applies not only to the work environment, but everywhere else as well. Both of the jobs that I have worked at were made available to me as a result of networking. I got a great deal on my car because of networking. I get five dollar yoga lessons because of networking. Most of the success that I have achieved and most of the things that I have access to now can be attributed directly to the network of people that I know.
I guess I wasn’t as independent as I thought I was.
So instead of being stubborn and continuing to isolate myself from others to maintain independence, I’m going to expand my horizons by turning to others and utilizing the potential help they have to offer.
I originally kept this blog hidden from my friends because I wanted to see how much I could succeed without them. Also, if this blog turned out to be something that was great as an idea but a letdown as an actuality, then I didn’t want to advertise my failure. After a while, this is what I came to realize: any potential that this blog has for success could be multiplied by letting my friends know about it so that they can critique me and provide me with valuable feed back. If this blog is destined for doom, then my friends could point out what I’m doing wrong, or at the very least, let me know that things probably aren’t going to be the way I want them to be. By not making use of the network of people around me, all I was doing was holding myself back.
Sometimes, it’s great to be independent, other times, being prideful about being independent can just get in your way.
So starting today, I’m going to network. However, instead of going out and trying to get as many business cards as I can, I am going to go and actively build relationships with people that I meet. I’m going to follow up with people after our initial contact. If I say, “Hey, maybe we should hang out sometime” I am actually going to call them sometime within the next seven days and invite them out to lunch. If I happen to be in the same area as some of these people, I will go out of my way to pay them a visit (I’ll let them know in advance, of course). The entire point of all this is to elevate these people from the status of “acquaintances” to “friends.”
Here’s another thing that I’m going to do: I’m going to establish stronger relations with the friends that I already have now. Instead of letting all the people that I met during high school just drift away, I’m going to look them up and see how they’re doing. Just because I’m building new contacts doesn’t mean that I have to get rid of old ones.
Instead of worrying about what people owe me or what I owe others, I’m going to give to others first and expect nothing back. Not only am I going to do this with my close circle of friends (which I already do), I’m going to do this with everyone I meet. If I give first, then I free up the feeling that I owe someone something; if I expect nothing back, then I free others of the feeling that I’m just using them for their future prospects. If I receive help from someone, then that’s great; if not, then oh well.
If I call up someone and say Hey, it’s Rags. How are you doing? and they respond with Who the hell is Rags? then I know that I didn’t do a good enough job of building and maintaining relations with that person. (Remember, the point here is to gain friends, not just contacts.)
I'm glad that I'm learning this lesson relatively early rather than later on in life where knowing the right people becomes particularly important. Hopefully, my new outlook on networking will allow not only me to prosper through others, but allow others to prosper through me as well.
18 hours ago


